Hello everyone!
In the natural world when an unexpected storm hits, at first we will not know what to do and might end up making decisions that could cause self-harm. However we can come through it safely by taking the right approach,. It is the same when storms of life hit us. We need to know how to navigate it and come through it safely. My testimony includes the mistakes I made when faced with various storms in life, as well as the right approaches taken and how they affected my life.
When life’s storm hits us,
1- We may choose to isolate ourselves.
2- We may develop a sense of shame.
3- We may look for ways to escape the storm.
4- We may become angry and bitter with God.
5- We may get fooled by our feelings.
1-Choosing to isolate in the Storm
When going through tough times, we may feel overwhelmed and just want to retreat into a shell, isolating ourselves and not wanting to meet anyone. Isolation can also be caused by a sense of shame and self-embarrassment. We might feel that our situation is too complicated for others to understand. We might not have strong and trustworthy relationships to reach out to. The fear of rejection or criticism can also cause us to isolate.
I isolated myself, thinking that my problem was unrelatable and due to feelings of shame and embarrassment.
Isolation is not healthy and we need to come out of it. Finding the courage to reach out and connect with others is a vital step in navigating life's storms.
I tried handling things on my own but but wasn't successful. But because someone took the initiative first, a simple question like, “Are you doing fine?” gave me the push I needed to open up and come out of isolation.
Factors that helped me come out of isolation
a) Becoming accountable to people who cared
Being in a discipling relationship meant that someone would always check in on me if I missed church on Sunday or weekly meetings. This consistent follow-up didn't allow me to remain isolated for long
b) Realizing others face similar troubles
I realized that others had gone through similar problems and had overcome them. Had I chosen to isolate and not open up, I would have been trapped in thinking that there was no hope. As 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful."
2-Sense of embarrassment in the Storm
We may become ashamed of our storms. Coming to Sunday church and retreats might become challenging when we are ashamed of our storms.
I used to struggle with a sense of shame about my storm, but I overcame it when I found comfort in the verse Psalm 25:1-3: "In you, Lord my God, I put my trust. I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame." This verse spoke to me and helped me come out of self-shame.
3- Looking for an escape from the Storm
We often look for an escape from the challenges of life. The world offers us as a means of escape entertainments, excessive shopping, overeating, substance abuse of alcohol or drugs, overwork and more. We might also turn to wrong habits like seeking advice from secular books and podcasts. These offer immediate and temporary relief by immersing us into a fictional world far from reality.
My way of escape has been secular entertainment. It was compromising my relationship with God and filling me with guilt.
Stop seeking temporary relief.
Replace temporary escape routes with
a) Confession
Being able to confess the things causing guilt to my discipler was helpful. Every time I confessed, it helped me to bring things to light and to have a new start.
b) Building Faith
Spending time in faith-building activities was an advice I received. Engaging myself in activities that built my faith, such as listening to testimonies, worship songs, and attending church services, significantly decreased my dependency on secular entertainment.
c) Praise and Worship
Isaiah 61:3: "And provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." Just as this verse says that it's praise that lifts up despair, I was told to practice praise and worship. Eventually, my secular songs were replaced by worship songs, and I started keeping exclusive times just for worship.
d) Finding exclusive time to spend with God
Psalm 62:8: "Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." One of the best ways to renew our strength when we are tired and weary is to spend time alone with God. When we come to Him the way we are and share everything bottled up inside us, God replaces it with peace, strength, faith, hope, and confidence.
4 -Getting bitter and angry with God
When life gets out of control, it's easy to feel angry towards God. I have felt bitter and hurt towards God when I did not get what I desired in my career and when I faced unexpected illness. I was not actually blaming God with words, but in my heart, I felt bitter.
Psalm 22:1-4 "Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest. Yet you are enthroned as the holy one; you are the one Israel praises.In you, our ancestors put their trust; they trusted and you delivered
Acknowledging who God is, and his sovereignty over our lives has set me free from feeling bitter towards him. Answers to prayers may get delayed, our situations might not seem to change, still, God is the one who is enthroned. The sooner we realize the better it is.
5-Don't get fooled by feelings
It's easy to give in to our feelings and let them drive our everyday life. This can make us impulsive, strain relationships, prevent us from seeing the broader perspective. It can shift our focus to immediate gratification, rather than long-term priorities.
I used to act out how I felt. It was my discipler who first told me that I had been following my feelings, and she encouraged me to do the opposite. She would always tell me to smile. I would not smile because I didn't feel like it. She told me that when I smile, my feelings will follow. I have realized that I can't allow my feelings to drive me. I am supposed to do things that I am required to do, even when I don't feel like doing them.
How we feel is important and we should share it in a safe place. But feelings can not be the driving force, especially when we are in a storm.
In conclusion, life's storms will eventually pass. But amidst the storm, we have to anchor ourselves firmly in God and choose the right approach to get us through it safely.